Ah yes as you can see, we headed through and out of the mountains and picked up a few stragglers along the way.

You’ll love the first one. An over-sexed under-nourished kind of lonely psychopath who lost his sanity by spending too much time watching porn movies.

When we came out on the other side  of the mountain range, there it was. Amazingly larger than life.

The pyramid.

Now you know what they say about the pyramid. The bottom always props up the top.

Never mind that. The pyramid is beautiful, isn’t it? You’d think we could have found the wizard here. Aye, that’s where I was thinking he might be.

But no.

The thing is, our new friend, the psychopath called Joe, had the brilliant idea that he was going to charge people to see his latest and greatest invention, a stunning hand-held time bending machine. I can’t explain it but this machine was not a time-bending machine. It was actually a juicer. Needless to say, you don’t mess with Joe. He’s a little soft around the middle and he’s not much to look at, but he will come up fighting with caustic words like nobody I know.

It’s time to stop thinking about what Joe was doing with a juicer in the wilderness and to get on with our mission. Why am I always getting distracted? You know all my life I wanted to be one of those people who led the others through the forest, knew the path,  knew instinctively what to do when obstacles came up,  could make a decision within a split second about things and be correct or  half correct or at least not afraid to fail, basically be the one.

I wanted to be Richard Branson.

But I’m not. And I think I know why.

It’s because the way you do anything is the way you do everything.

I doubted whether I could get to the wizard and discover the truth about life and save the world.

I was easily distracted and not focussed on the goal.

It was time for a complete overhaul of my attitude. Yet I couldn’t see that. I couldn’t bring myself to focus.

And that is why we spend the last few weeks under a flimsy tent at the base of the mountains, having a grand old time trading juice for supplies and basically drinking every night until we passed out, enjoying all kinds of debauchery while completely forgetting our original purpose.

To find the wizard.